I had a crazy day. Taught three classes back to back, then practice and lunch with the mediators, then Common Planning Time with the kindergarten team. From there I zoomed to a coordinator meeting with my PYP colleagues. We talked about all of our responsibilities and, by the end of the meeting, I was – honestly – completely overwhelmed. And I am not someone who gets that way easily. I work efficiently and productively; I can keep all the plates spinning.
But I don’t actually know how I will get pacing guides done with teams, schedule field trips, analyze all of the units with rubrics, make curricular changes, upload everything to Managebac, teach classes, organize Heinen’s, schedule the Kent Sate visitors, then the JCU students. And, and, and…I really don’t know that I have the time and talents to do all of this well.
That may be the first time I have ever said that about anything I have ever attempted at Fernway School.
The expectations exceed even the most capable among us, and, trust me, my coordinator colleagues are supremely talented and supportive. Massively skilled and motivated to do their best.
After that meeting, I ran through the store grabbing dinner then lurched into my seat at a church meeting by 7. We start every meeting with Joys and Concerns. I thought about saying something, then I backed out. Finally, being jabbed by true need, I eeked out this. “It is only September 18th, we have been in school for a month. I am completely overwhelmed and I do not see the load lessening at all, ever.” I took a breath, and starting tearing up, adding, “And I am doing all of this without any social outlets, too exhausted for anything at the end of the day. I am tired and lonely and I need your prayers.”
“And I need your prayers.”
It’s so simple to say that. And so hard. We save our public prayers for illnesses and lost jobs and strange spots on our feet. We ask for prayers after death, before weddings, when facing an unknown.
But I turned to these church friends and told them I am weary. That’s it. A small truth, nothing climatic. I asked that they hold me in the light. That they think of me, a time or two, and send me some energy. And I know they will in whatever way they see fit.
Do not be afraid to tell these small truths. Do not be afraid to say you need help. We are all we have, after all. Thank you Forest Hill peeps. You know I love being with you.0